An interview with: A baby sleep consultant!

Lack of sleep. It's totally evil isn't it. We all turn a little bit crazy when we're tired, it can do really awful things to us. Putting keys in the fridge or tea on your cornflakes (yup, I've done both of those many times) - even packing everything into the car and driving away only to realise that your baby was actually still in her car seat on the pavement. (No, I would never do such a sleep deprived crazy thing......... honest...)

We've ALL been there, and it's pure torture (and ignore that annoying lady at baby class who says HER baby is perfect & has slept through the night since day 1. Not true.) That one thing can dictate how we feel emotionally, physically, how we interact with our children, our spouses, how we cope with daily life. 

So it's really little wonder that there seems to have been a massive rise recently in people turning to Sleep Consultants to help them work out how to encourage their babies and children to get into better sleep habits. I recently got to chat to a lovely local sleep consultant named Zoe Payne, the owner of Baby Sleepy Dust, and I found out what it's all about, here's what she had to say:

 Hi Zoe, would you tell us how you became a Sleep Consultant? 

I had a terrible time with my own daughter as by the time she was 9 months old, she had been waking every hour of the night for about six months.   I looked into getting help from a sleep consultant and through my research, I discovered that I found the issue of baby and child sleep fascinating and wanted to find out more so that I could help other people like me.  I completed two courses over the space of a year of training and research.  Of course I was able to immediately correct what was happening with my daughter's sleep - she now sleeps like a dream at night and during the day - and I was also able to help many friends and family by using them as case studies while I completed my training.  I have now been helping families with sleep issues for a year and a half and I love being able to support parents through this process to the point where their children are getting the sleep they need.

 What exactly do you aim to do for your clients?

All babies and children are different so my first aim is to find out as much as I can about each family's routine, needs and preferences before I design a sleep plan for them.  Through my training and ongoing research, I am extremely well informed on a variety of techniques of 'sleep training' so I can put together a programme that will suit each family rather than just offering one approach to everyone.  The most difficult thing for parents when trying to adjust their child's sleep is continuity and consistency, especially in the middle of the night when they are exhausted.  There are often a few nights where it feels like things are getting worse rather than improving and so once I have provided the sleep plan and discussed it in great detail, my role is to support parents through the process as much as they need me to and I always continue to do this until they are completely happy with the results.

Zoe Payne

Who are your clients, and is there an age limit for the babies?

I have designed a workshop for expectant and new parents that gives them the tools to gently introduce good sleep habits in the first six months.  I identified this as a key stage in sleep development and it is a gentle way to gear your baby to sleep well and through the night once they are weaned at around 6 months old.  This workshop promotes independent sleep and should mean that parents can avoid certain sleep habits creeping in which may require 'Sleep Training' once their babies are over 6 months old.  I also provide sleep plans and ongoing support for parents of babies and children from 6 months to 5 years old. 

This sounds amazing! So how long does it usually take for people to see a difference in their babies sleep habits?

 It really depends on what is happening with each baby's sleep, what methods the parents are comfortable using and age is also a factor.  Parents of younger babies, between 6 months to a year old, should start to notice things greatly improving within 5-7 nights.  With slightly older children it can sometimes take up to 2 weeks.  The main reason for there being any delay in the progress will be down to a break in the consistency of the sleep plan.  

What happens if it doesn't work?!

This is a difficult question to answer!  I have never had an occasion where we have decided that it hasn't worked - there have been occasions where parents feel they can't carry on with the original sleep plan; when this happens, there is no point pushing them to continue as they need to be behind what they are doing 100% in order to make it work.  If this is the case, I help them adjust things until we find a way that will work for them before continuing until they are happy their child is getting enough sleep.  Once or twice people have decided that the process isn't what they want to do at that time and I always say that I'm happy to pick up where we left off sometime in the future if and when they would like to. 

How does it all work practically?

I offer an initial consultation free of charge over the phone - this is important as parents need to be absolutely sure that this is something they want to do.  If they decide to go ahead then I offer face-to-face, telephone or Skype ongoing support packages once I have produced the sleep plan.  The ongoing support is unlimited and continues until everyone is happy with the results. 

How should people get in touch with you if they'd like to find out more?

I have a website so people can find out more on there at: www.babysleepydust.co.uk

If they would like to arrange the initial consultation or if they have any questions I am available on my mobile from 8am until 9pm on weekdays and 8am until 5pm on weekends - 07584 493 580 and the same hours on email: zoe@babysleepydust.co.uk

I would like to offer a 15% discount on all my services to anyone who contacts me via Hannah at Calm Births so please mention this is where you heard about me in order to take advantage of the discount! 

Online HypnoBirthing Classes

A common problem that I hear when people are wanting to take the HypnoBirthing Course is that the logistics don't work for them. This can be due to babysitting issues, people often commute and work long hours or have other commitments on the days of the group courses. Sometimes people just feel more comfortable learning online in their own time. So, I have a solution!

For just £49 you can access an online version of the Calm Births course, learn at your own pace with lifetime access!

It’s as simple as clicking here and getting going straight away!

5 tips for dealing with a heat wave when you're pregnant.

So, summer is well and truly here and It. Is. HOT. Fantastic! Or not.. if you are heavily pregnant, this heat is no joke at all and can be really really awful. Unless of course you are able to spend all of your time in an air conditioned room, with a lovely big pool and cold drinks on demand. No? In that case,  I have put together some (hopefully) helpful tips to keep you cool this summer:

1) Sleeping. Or lack thereof. This is a big problem when it's hot and can leave you feeling exhausted. Try having a cold shower (as cold as you can stand it) as the last thing you do before going to bed, just lightly dry your body leaving it slightly damp and get yourself in front of a fan/ air-con unit/ window to dry off. It will drop your body temperature down nicely before getting in to bed.

Sleep with a cool flannel on your forehead, and just under a single sheet. Another trick whilst lying in bed is to visualise being somewhere reaaaaallly cold, and fool your body into thinking it's not hot - you have to really use your imagination but it can work! (Those of you who are HypnoBirthers will appreciate the strength of mind over matter)

2) Water spray - these are amazing, just a small bottle like this one from Boots for only £1.55 kept in your handbag during the day and by your bedside at night can offer wonderful instant relief.

3) Peppermint foot cooling gel - I found this one from Body Shop but they are sold in lots of places. I was gifted some by a friend when pregnant with my first, and it was hands down the best thing I was bought! Getting to sleep when pregnant can be tricky even when it's not hot, and lots of people suffer with restless leg syndrome - I found this stuff worked wonders.

4) Water, water and more water. Sorry, I know it's a boring one but the importance can't really be stressed enough. You need to have a good water intake when pregnant normally, and if you're losing moisture through perspiration in the sun then you and baby need even more. The trick to know whether you're getting enough is your pee - if it is clear and odourless then that's perfect, keep up the good work. If your pee is a bit on the yellow side and has an odour, then try drinking a bit more (spread the increase throughout the day, don't go and down a litre of water). 

5) Cankles anyone? Have your feet / ankles / calves all merged into one attractive lump in the heat? Upping your fluid intake actually helps with this too, as it works through your lymphatic system and helps to flush it all out. Keep your feet elevated whenever you can too, whilst watching TV or even at your desk, have your feet as raised as you can. 

Failing all that, fill a bath with iced water and settle in for the day! 

A VBAC? At home? Are you mad?......

Well today has been a lovely day at Calm Births HQ as not just one, but TWO Calm Births HypnoBirthing babies have been born!! I've yet to hear the full birth stories, but I know that all is well. And I know that something totally wonderful has happened for one of my families. 

I met the lovely Sarah and Chris* back in January this year at the beginning of their 5 week course. Little was I to know then what a huge, life changing journey that would be for them, and what a journey of affirmation it would be for me.

Let me explain: Sarah and Chris already had two children, aged 5 and 2. Both babies, for various reasons, had been born by emergency caesarean section. The couple were embarking on a HypnoBirthing journey as they wanted to give themselves the best possible chance of having a very different experience this time around. To such an extent that they were planning to have a home birth this time.

When Sarah initially contacted me and told me where she lived I was a bit unsure about travelling the distance (a 100 mile round trip!), but when she told me of her plans to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) at home with this baby I couldn't help but be very excited to be part of that journey with them.

And so we began our 5 weeks of HypnoBirthing sessions. They had already read the book when we met, and I joked with Sarah that she knew so much about VBAC's from her research that she should train to be a Midwife after this baby. (She'd be great!) Over the period of time that we worked together, Sarah and Chris went full circle from being excited, passionate and determined to have the birth they were choosing, to being scared by caregivers into giving up that dream, and all the way back again.

Sadly, on paper it would seem that Sarah was a 'risk' as a VBAC and the fact that she wanted to do it at home clearly put the heeby jeebies into her local caregivers. She was made to feel that she was endangering her baby by choosing this path, and made to feel very sad and disempowered. But the couple found strength, continued to research and understand exactly what it was they wanted to do and what any (teeensy) risks might be. They then re-grouped, and cracked on with making plans for their homebirth.

And. They. Did. It. 

It makes me feel emotional just typing it. I am so utterly thrilled that this couple have taken their birth into their own hands, listened to all the advice, made their own, INFORMED decision and chosen the path that was best for THEM. And it WORKED!!!!! 

The reason I wanted to share this story with you, was because it has just been such a wonderful example of women standing up for themselves and choosing how their birth will be. Sarah and Chris were fully supported by their caregivers in their choice, once they had (very eloquently) explained their reasons and shown that they had fully researched it. 

I am sad that they had to go through this battle to achieve the birth they wanted, but thrilled that they felt empowered enough to stand up for themselves and to know that you ALWAYS have a choice. I just hope that more women begin to feel the strength and confidence that it takes to choose their birth journeys, and not be made to feel that they 'have' to do things a certain way.

The wonderful AIMS was very helpful in the research for this couple, and this article in particular is very good for anyone thinking about VBAC x

*Not their real names as they choose to remain anonymous

A beautiful birth story from a Calm Births Family.

I received this wonderful testimonial birth story today from the lovely Amy and Paul, whom I taught whilst they were pregnant with their first baby. Together they were a superstar HypnoBirthing team, and have a gorgeous calm baby as a result. Yay! 

"Hi Hannah,

Finally I have a moment to put in to words how grateful I am for what you did for my husband and I in preparation of the birth of our first baby.

I was naturally nervous about childbirth having never experienced it and after hearing many horror stories which people seemed all too happy to share with me on finding out I was pregnant! I was given the Marie Mongan hypnobirthing book by a friend, I didn't get very far in to the book before realising it was absolutely  something I wanted to explore as it just made so much sense to me - the concept of childbirth being a natural process and something women are built to do without medical intervention, and that by releasing all fear and remaining calm during the process enables the body to do what it needs to do to deliver the baby naturally and without stress.

I found you via recommendation on the WGG Facebook page, and I am just so delighted that I contacted you! From the moment we engaged over email I knew that I would connect with you as you had such a nice calm and friendly manner. I decided to opt for the private sessions as I felt my husband would be more comfortable in our own home rather than the group environment and it also gave us more flexibility on times/dates than the group sessions did.

The sessions were just fantastic, we both felt very relaxed with you and you made us feel like no questions or concerns we had were silly or insignificant. We really enjoyed learning about the birthing process and practising the breathing and visualisation techniques with you and just getting more prepared to welcome our baby in to the world in the most calm and collected way possible. I also believe that it really helped my husband feel like he had an important role to play and gave him so much confidence knowing more about the birthing process rather than standing by and watching.

The course was clearly worth every penny and every minute we invested in it, as I am so proud to say that our beautiful son Zane David Richards was born naturally, calmly, quickly and without any pain relief!

We were a little shocked that the labour had started when it did as it was almost 3 weeks before my due date, but despite this we remained calm and used the breathing, essential oils and relaxing music to get through the contractions at home before going in to hospital, I even took a shower and washed and dried my hair whilst having contractions! We had called the hospital to let them know my labour had started, and as it was my first baby even though I said I felt the contractions had become strong quite quickly, they were putting us off going in as were expecting it to be a long process .... well it is a good job that my husband made the decision for us to get ourselves to the hospital when he did, because the moment we arrived at the maternity ward reception my waters broke, and Zane was delivered 55 minutes later! We hadn't even got my notes or the hospital bag out of the car, and there was no time to even consider getting in the birthing pool! The midwife even said to me that she wished all women made her job so easy! Also what was amazing is how calm Zane was having entered the big wide world - he hardly made a sound and just happily lay on my chest! So many people comment on what a 'good baby' he is because he seems so relaxed and rarely cries.

We feel so lucky to have worked with you and can't thank you enough as we believe that the sessions we did with you really did contribute to our fantastic birthing experience. We would recommend anybody to you, no matter how sceptical they are about hypnobirthing.

Lots of Love

Amy, Paul and Zane xxx

Six things to know when considering a home birth.

Picture courtesy of homebirthaustralia.org

In my years as a Midwife, I was very privileged to attend births in the homes of families, and to learn about exactly what happens, how it goes, and what happens in the (rare) event of an emergency. So when it came to be my turn to become a Mumma myself, I was 100% confident in my choice to birth my babies at home, and so I did. Three times. And I have to say that they were the three most wonderful, life altering, amazing experiences of my life. And if I had the choice (and the finances) then I would do it over and over again. THAT is how passionate I am about home birth. Don't get me wrong, I DO wax lyrical about it, but only when asked about it. I would never dare to presume anything about anyone's individual circumstances or situations, and push my ideals on them. That's just not cool, and I do also strongly believe that a woman will birth calmly and gently if she feels safe in her environment. To some that will mean hospital, others a birth centre, and others at home. To each their own.

However, if home birth is something that you have on your radar and are wondering about, then I have collated a list of six things you need to know in order to feel informed in making a decision:

1) HypnoBirths do not have to be at home. I feel that that is an important point to make, as it is a common misconception. A woman can use her HypnoBirthing skill set no matter what the scenario or environment - that's kind of the point of HypnoBirthing really, that you are given the skills to be able to relax and calmly birth no matter where you are or what's going on around you. 

2) The stats! The idea of home birth without knowing much about it is quite scary. I get it. So let's look at the statistics, which speak for themselves. Statistics from NICE (the guidance of whom Midwives must legally follow) and the 2011 Birthplace study show:

•  A woman is MORE likely to achieve a normal vaginal delivery at home than in an obstetric unit or birth centre (984 at home vs 927 in an obstetric unit)

• A woman is a lot LESS likely to have an episiotomy at home than in a birth centre or obstetric led unit (15 at home vs 35 in a birth centre and 56 in an obstetric unit)

• The incidence of instrumental delivery (forceps or ventouse) is MUCH lower at home too - this is just 9 at home vs 23 at a birth centre and 38 in an obstetric led unit.

• The incidences of babies born without serious medical problems is exactly the same at home or at hospital (997) - and so, therefore, is the incidence of babies born with problems (3) - which leads me nicely to my next point.. 

3) A Midwife attending a home birth is equally able to deal with an emergency as a midwife in a hospital. Now, as you can see from the stats, an emergency scenario is very rare in a home birth. However, community midwives are trained up like ninja warriors. The merest whiff, suggestion or feeling that something is amiss and those ninja midwives will be stepping up and shipping you out. If something happens quickly and unexpectedly, those ninja community midwives have all the life saving equipment and skills that a midwife in hospital has. Trust me, they KNOW what they're doing - the same thing could happen up a mountain, in a hospital or at your house, they would deal with it in exactly the same professional, safe way. 

4) The house is not left in a mess. This is another understandable worry, but again, those ninja community midwives will clean up everything before they leave. You won't even notice they're doing it, as you will all be snuggled up safely in your own bed basking in the glory of cuddling your newborn baby. The midwives will quietly just clean up and take any rubbish away with them, and birth really isn't that messy - certainly not as it is so often portrayed in rubbish tv dramas. Having said that, it's easy to prepare, you can just buy a cheap 'value' shower curtain to lay on the floor if you have lovely cream carpets, and get out some old towels that you don't mind throwing away afterwards. 

5) Home births are ideal if you have a 'low risk' pregnancy. Now this is true, but if you are not sure if you are low risk, then a quick chat with your community midwife or the lovely people at AIMS will give you more of an idea. There is an increasing trend for women who have had a previous cesarean section to go on to have a vaginal birth (VBAC) at home. This is definitely worth investigating if this is you. It must always also be remembered that it is your birth, and your choice. 

5) You can still birth or just labour in water if you choose to. There are many wonderful local homebirth support groups who lend out birth pools for free, you just have to buy the disposable liner that goes inside it for approximately £15. These pools are like the most luxurious paddling pools in the world, with inflatable bases that make you feel as though you are floating in a cloud. They are just filled with a connection to your taps, easy. 

6) Once you make the decision you can change your mind. This is really important - a good mindset to have for labour and birth is to just go with the flow and see what happens. This includes your choice of place of birth - a good idea is to consider that you will start your labour at home and see how you go, with everything in place to have a home birth should you choose to. Have a hospital bag packed too, and if you decide along the way that you would prefer to be in a birth centre or hospital, then you can do that too, no problem.

So there we have it. It is a big decision, and it is YOUR decision. But there is loads of advice and support out there for women who choose to birth at home, and I defy you to find a woman who has done so who won't wax lyrical about it, just like I do. 

If you are considering home birth and would like to chat about HypnoBirthing in Berkshire then please don't hesitate to contact me. x

Calm Mummy = Calm Baby

It is often said in HypnoBirthing that a calm Mummy means a calm baby - and this is definitely true. Hypno-babies are always very calm, and that's no coincidence, their Mums have chosen to take time out of their often busy lives to relax and be at one with their growing baby. That baby grows feeling loved, calm and relaxed and in turn comes into the world in a calm way. This, we know.

However, what happens after that? For many, having their first (or subsequent) baby can feel a little overwhelming, and whilst pregnant it is very hard to focus on anything other than the impending birth.

Sadly, we live in a society where we are not coveted by friends, family and neighbours and encouraged to rest with baby for any time. In other cultures, it is the norm to have a dedicated period of laying in with baby (in some places, such as China, this can be for 28 days). In our busy lives this seems silly and impossible, but I truly feel that those early days or the 'babymoon' as it is often called, is so important for Mum and baby's wellbeing. It may not feel practical in your life to stop everything and allow yourself to be waited on whilst bonding with your baby, but if you can find a way to make it work, trust me it's worth it. Your recovery will be quicker both physically and emotionally if you allow yourself to rest, baby will feed better as he or she will have constant access to your milk and so your body will adjust to the demand and produce the perfect amount of milk. Baby will feel more secure and calm, and therefore more likely to grow into a confident, happy child.

There is a known theory that as a race, humans' brains have become so large that our babies are born sooner than perhaps they should be. Therefore the first three months of their lives are actually the '4th trimester', and an extension of their time in the womb. If we can allow babies to enter our world gently and slowly, they will feel more safe, secure and happy.

There are some great, practical things that you can do to try to get some of this precious time are:

• Plan ahead, freeze some healthy meals for you & your partner ready to eat when baby has arrived
• Drink water, and some more water.. and a little bit more.
• Deter any visitors for the first 2 weeks of baby's life
• Ask any visitors to bring you a meal/ wash up/ hold baby to allow you to shower or nap..
• Ask for help. It's very difficult for lots of us to ask for help, but please do it. People love to feel that they've helped you and you'll feel better for delegating.
• Sleep when baby sleeps - this is a well known bit of advice, and it really is important. Babies are often nocturnal creatures when they're born, and so most likely you will be for the first few weeks, so give in to it and sleep whether it's 2pm or 2am. It's all sleep and so important for your mental wellbeing.
• For those who know me, you will know how much I go on about the importance of pelvic floor exercises. These are even more important in the postnatal period so DO THEM!! If you're not sure how, have a look here:
• And finally, call me! Because I feel so strongly about the importance of the postnatal period, I always try and visit families who have taken the course once baby has born (and I get to have a cuddle too!), and I now also offer a dedicated postnatal session.

When a calm birth hits the headlines

I have been really saddened today to see an article in the paper (not one that I am a fan of, admittedly) - with the headline:

'London woman claims her 5 hour labour was PLEASURABLE'

Now, I have several issues with this. Firstly, the use of the word 'claims' - the author is clearly implying that the mere suggestion that a labour can be pleasurable is absolutely preposterous, and is mocking the Mother. This author also emphasizes the point that the Mother didn't use drugs - as if this is something unheard of and ridiculous.

Whilst I'm happy that HypnoBirthing is in the news, and this Mum clearly had a wonderful birth, why one woman's beautiful, enjoyable, calm HypnoBirth should be headline news bewilders and saddens me. This is how birth can and should be for every woman, and a natural, 'normal' birth should exactly that, the norm, not a freak occurrence to be scorned.  I am also saddened that the author of this article is a woman, and although she hasn't written anything outwardly negative, she very clearly has an issue with the fact that a woman has enjoyed and is celebrating her baby's birth. Women should be supporting each other, and celebrating together when a baby is born. Whatever happened to the sisterhood?!

I would be really interested to hear your comments on this, the link to the article is here